post 20 : prince charming

My phone vibrates under my fingers and I sigh. Everyone I like is already here and I can’t be bothered with anybody else. I read the message before checking who it is from.

“Out tonight?” It asks. My eyes flicker upwards and I gasp involuntarily. I read his name over and over to make sure I have it right.

“Yes.” I type, consider elaborating, and decide better of it.

“I’m watching the rugby in Brisbane. I might be heading out later.” He tells me, as though I’ve asked; because he knows I care.

“Well, let me know if you want to catch up for a drink.” I hesitate, knowing I will come to regret this. I press the ‘send’ button. Fuck it.

*******

“I like your hair.” He tells me, an hour later. “It looks lovely long.” I grew it for you, Owen.

“What are you doing here?” Seriously, what is he doing here?

“I come here.” He says, missing the point. “I come to Brisbane, for rugby, and I have friends here. Blake lives here.” He points at his friend and I roll my eyes, grab his cheeks, softly squeeze and turn his face to mine.

“Why are you here now, with me?” I let go.

“Well” he smiles “I messaged you to say I was in town, and you replied saying to let you know if I wanted…” he starts and I cut him off.

“I knew I would regret that!” I giggle and he joins me, completely aware of how much of a sucker I am for him.

I am introduced to Blake and quickly calculate that, based on the fact that they met while Owen lived in England, he is probably Owen’s oldest and longest friend. He doesn’t have many of those, having moved country so many times and Blake was probably very important to him. I wonder why he brought him here.

Owen leaves to get drinks and I turn to Blake, feeling comfortable with him already and repeat the question I’d posed to Owen. “What is he doing here, Blake, what does he want?” I struggle to hide the hint of concern in my voice. All self-preservation went out the window the minute I saw him and I feel vulnerable.

He smiles at me. “He wants you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous please” I joke. “You and I both know perfectly well that Owen Edwards doesn’t have the faintest idea what he wants.”

He laughs knowingly. “Well, he told me he wants you.”

“You know, I want to believe you, I really do.” I tell him, leading him to a seat outside that is more like a bed, and we sit with our feel our in front of us and lean against the wall. “But I know Owen.”

“He’s different now.” He is genuine, sincere. He looks at me intently and focused.

“I wish I could believe that was true.”

Owen returns and sits down next to me, a little too close and not close enough; he reaches out to touch my hair. That one instant is all it takes and again after frustrating again I am his. Still, it is probably necessary to protect myself like I have not done before so I attempt a fierce and mildly comical approach.

“What are you doing?” I yell at him, laughing at the same time and pushing him away. “Don’t touch me.” He laughs with me and moves his hand from my hair, immediately placing it over mine in my lap and squeezing softly. “Don’t touch me!” I repeat, taking his hand again and chucking it back at him. He giggles. He isn’t used to this, especially from me and I have a feeling that he is now going to enjoy the challenge of winning back my affections; a challenge he has already succeeded in, as if he doesn’t know.

“What do you want Owen Edwards?!” I demand. “Why are you touching me? You’re not supposed to touch me!” Beside him I can see Blake laughing. I am still yelling but it’s at me really, because I know that he doesn’t deserve another chance, but that he will get one.

He looks at me, reading my thoughts exactly and leans his forehead against mine, gently stroking the side of my face and tells me “I want you” in a whisper so quiet against my lips that I just catch it on his breath.

“You’re going to go away again, I know you are.” My voice is desperate, either begging him not to do this again, or begging him to stay this time, I am not sure which.

He lifts my chin up to look at me properly. “I know I treated you badly. I was a jerk, I really was. I was still in love with her, and you were someone I could see myself in a relationship with and it scared the shit out of me.” I wasn’t expecting such honesty or even an explanation at all, let alone what was almost an apology.

“I know this, Owen. I don’t know what’s changed now though.”

“I’m not in love with her anymore.” He tells me; a statement with meaning that does change everything.

“I was done here. I was done with you.” I say, realising it is a lie as soon as the words escape my mouth and hoping that I have convinced him it was true. Hell, I had convinced myself. He says nothing, only looks at me with a hope that asks if he’s not too late. We are silent for a while, our heads leaning against each other’s for support and for strength.

“And I don’t think you’re a jerk.” I add, because even though he’d said that he ‘was’ I knew he still thought it possible that I think he ‘is’.”

“Yes you do.” My point exactly.

“No, Owen. You made some jerk moves, sure. You didn’t treat me well necessarily. But I understood why, and you were honest with me, I appreciated that. I don’t think that a person’s worst actions have to define them.”

He seems surprised at this. “Well” he says slowly. “Thank you.” He looks at me for a long time until his eyes are blurred over, lost in thought. “I’m sorry” he says, snapping out of his daze. “I got lost. I’m finding it really hard not to kiss you.” He tells me, shaking his head.

“Don’t…” I start to tell him as his lips meet mine. I can’t help it; I kiss him back. I close my eyes and melt into him, allowing the butterflies in my stomach to flourish.

“You’re going to be the death of me Owen Edwards.”

*******

While Blake is getting drinks a girl named Stephanie comes over to us. “Excuse me” she says, polite. “Where did your friend go?” They had been undressing each other from across the room while Blake was trying to focus on our earlier conversation.

“He’ll be back.” I tell her. “He’s just gone to get drinks. Do you want us to send him over to you?”

“Yes please, thank you.” She smiles and turns around before realising she’s forgotten something. “You two look really good together.” She adds.

“Don’t encourage him, Stephanie!” I order, laughing. I look at Owen who has a huge smile on his face.

“We do look good together, don’t we?” He adds cheekily. She laughs and walks away and I backhand him playfully across the chest and kiss his face.

“I hate you.” I tell him, pushing him away.

“I know.”

Blake comes back bearing beverages, which he hands around and we tell him about Stephanie. He leaves straight away and brings back with him not only Stephanie, but her friend, too. The three of them are engrossed in conversation before even sitting. Owen and I watch him work his magic for a while and then he turns his focus to me.

“So” He starts, as though he’d been thinking about what could possibly convince me to trust him again. 

“What you need is a big gesture, to show you that I’m serious.”

“I don’t need anything from you.”

“And that’s what I love about you.” He says; excited as though he has just found a girl he is developing a crush on for the first time. “But that’s what it’ll take to convince you.”

“It’ll take something. I don’t really see you as the big gesture kind of guy, though.” Another lie.

“I can do big gestures. I can whisk you away to anywhere in the world; wherever you want to go.”

“I know you can, Owen” I hesitate. “But you won’t.” I don’t need him to take me half way across the world. I don’t even want that, all I want is a little time, a little consistency.

“Did you know,” he tells me “That when Lucy and I broke up and she went home, I bought a ticket and flew to the other side of the world, knocked on her door and asked her to come back?”

I am silent for a moment. “No. No I did not know that.” Who is this person sitting beside me? I feel I don’t know him at all.

“I loved her.” He shrugs.

“You perhaps deserve a little more credit than I am giving you.”

“Big gestures I can do. Following up is my downfall.”

“It’s not enough. Following up is the most important part.”

“I know.”

“You can try to win my affections” I tell him, brightening up. “But you’re going to have to do a really good job at it” I warn, hoping that the challenge tempts. “You have competition now.”

“Can I start with asking you to dinner?”

“Maybe.” I shrug dismissively and grin at him through a sideways glance.

Suddenly he jumps up, is almost immediately at the foot of the bed-like lounge kneeling in front of me, his arms out dramatically to the sides and asks again loudly, in a tone that is a mix of desperation and confidence “Please, will you let me take you to dinner?” I feel a redness creep up my neck and onto my cheeks. I look at him, shocked, and then down, then back up and I giggle, putting my hands over my face. I am aware that everyone in the room is watching, waiting eagerly for my response, and that his arms are still outstretched.

“Come out to dinner with me!” He yells again, this time full of confidence, almost breaking into a laugh but somehow managing to hold it together.

I take my hands away from my face and look up. “Maybe!” I shout back at him. “Maybe I’ll go to dinner with you!”

He tries one more time; his head tilting to the side unintentionally. “Let me take you to dinner?” It was a softly spoken question this time and sweet, hard to resist.

I grab his hands and pull him towards me, push him to the side when he almost lands on top and Shh him. I tell him again in a whisper “Maybe. Maybe I’ll go to dinner with you.”

“He leans over and kisses my nose.”

*******

“Okay.” I say. “I’m going back to my friends now.”

“Stay for a little bit longer.” He asks, looking at me with the eyes I’d too often given into.

“I have to go.” My third and final lie for the evening. I stand before I let him stop me.

“I’m going to follow you.” He warns.

“No, you’re not. You’re going to let me go and be fiercely independent like I need to be. You’re going to stay here. With Blake, right Blake?”

“Right.” Blake agrees without consideration.

“But how am I supposed to let you go?” He asks, baffled. “Look at you.” He glances up and down my body obviously; appreciatively, making me blush.

“You just watch me leave.” I say, pointing to the door. You’ve done it many, many times before Owen.

It is at this point that I see Blake, Stephanie and Stephanie’s friend looking up at me, obviously curious as to why I would possibly leave. “It’s okay guys.” I tell them, clearly over exaggerating for emphasis. “He does have my number; he can contact me if he really wants to.” They smile; relief.

“You know” Owen starts. “I would much rather take you for a walk through Brunswick Street, holding your hand and generally wooing you.”

“Soon.”

“Soon like now?”

“Goodbye Owen.” I talk away fast, before I change my mind.