Wednesday, 6 June 2012

post 22 : a room of my own


Ebony tiptoed up the hall to her sisters’ room, avoiding the floor boards she knew would creak on the way. It was midnight and her parents were asleep. She quickly pushed open the door, ensuring that if it was going to make a sound, it would not last long. The bedside lamp was on and dimly lit the room. She closed the door behind her and looked around.

Alice had always wanted a room that was more of a shrine, something that people could walk into and know her, just from looking at the walls. Ebony glanced around and realized that she had achieved exactly that. There was a world map that took up one of the smaller walls, with blue tacks in the places she’d been; France, Italy, England so far. There were purple tacks too, those were for the places she would go next; Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland and Iceland. She wanted to explore Scandinavia; go on a reindeer sled ride and sleep in an igloo. Under the map were four pictures in an impossibly straight line, stretching the length of the map with perfectly even spaces in between. Each was a photo of Alice with one other family member; their mum, dad, elder sister Aubrey and one with Ebony. Alice ran a finger over the picture of her and her sister, setting it to memory.

There was a pin up girl picture from Paris that she had not yet framed, and an oil painting of the Eifel Tower she got from a vendor on the streets of the Montmartre. She had a wall specifically for artistic and almost abstract photos she’d taken when in Rome, each lined with a thin matted black frame. There was a laminated picture of a pirate ship she took at Disneyland Paris blutacked to the mirror on her cupboard. On the wall above her study desk was a framed photo she said was for motivation. It was enlarged almost to the point of distortion and was of the Notting Hill tube sign in London, taken from the far side of the tracks. She had been experimenting with the camera at the time and managed; with very little know how, to make the photo shades of grey, with just the circle around the station name in red. She wanted so badly to be back in London. Under the photo that she spent a little too much of her study time daydreaming at were the textbooks; the whole top shelf of the desk were lined with names like Contracts, Principles and Practice of Australian Law, Commercial Law, Crime in Australia, and many, many more.

There was a tray next to the printer specifically for paper; she went through reams each semester. Sitting on top as a paper weight was the porcelain duck she had bought from the markets when she was 4. Her great grandma had given her $2 and she had fallen in love with the $1 ducky, as she affectionately called him. Neither Ebony nor Alice knew where the last dollar had ended up, and it didn’t matter.

Ebony picked up a snow dome her sister had received from an auntie for a birthday so long ago she couldn’t recall which. She gently turned it up side down and then back again, the little pink flowers slowly making their way to the bottom, passing a reading rabbit, a duck holding a flower with a lady beetle on top and a blue bird on their way. The Snowdome had a lilac base with the words “I Love You” painted in white. Ebony smiled and placed it back on exactly the angle she found it.

She wandered over to the wall next to her sister’s bed and ran her left hand along the light blue curtains covering two windows that took up the whole wall. In front of her was the wall Alice loved most. Ebony sat on the end of the bed, facing the wall and looking up at the memories her sister liked to relive over and over. The wall was brown, a comforting feature in the otherwise bland cream room. It was covered with photos from her travels, of pictures from her favourite designer and Polaroid’s of friends. The photos were placed artistically and seemingly purposefully, although Ebony never quite understood it. Each photo was on an exact parallel to the floor and ceiling; of the 40 or so photos, not one was on the wrong angle. From afar the wall was striking, with reds and pinks of beautiful designer clothing standing out amongst clusters of a brown Paris and blue skied Liverpool in the summer. Up close was a journey, from where she had been, and where she was yet to go. It was of hope and happiness. It defined her, just as she had hoped.

Her sister wouldn’t be coming home any time soon, so she got up and started opening draws, looking for hidden secrets. The desk, as suspected, contained nothing but a bottom draw of thousands of pages of law school readings, filed under subject and year. The top draw was orderly stationary. She opened the cupboard and found nothing but clothing hung up according to colour, perfectly lined shoes and some paperwork on the far left shelves. She made her way over to the bedside draws and opened the first one. There were CD’s and novels, photos that didn’t make the cut for display, old birthday cards and hair ties. Lots of hair ties. She shut the draw, disappointed. She was certain there would have been some sort of insight, some sneaky something that she could have dug up. There was nothing. Deflated, she lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. After a little while she decided to go back to her own room, not wanting to fall asleep where she was. She shifted the pillow slightly in order to make the covers as neat as they were before, and caught sight of a corner of a stack of paper. She pulled it out from under the pillow and examined the outside. There was nothing written on the cover; a blank page. The paper was bound together by shreds of leather that were frayed at the ends.

Deciding she didn’t actually care whether she was found in her sister’s room in the morning, Ebony climbed back under the covers and started reading.

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